Baby Johnny is finally home...

Sad and happy day yesterday. we got the call that Johnny was ready to bring home. Sad because a new sense of reality set it for me... the baby we were able to hold and feel just a little over a week ago, really is not with us anymore in flesh. Happy because the baby we were able to hold and feel just a little over a week ago, is home with us where he belongs. His urn was so much more beautiful than I imagined it would be. I knew it was going to be beautiful, but to actually see it and to know that is where he is, gave it another level of beauty that I wasn't expecting. My mom and I also ordered a charm necklace each, a teddy bear, that also holds some of his ashes. I only wish that mom was able to experience seeing it for the first time like I did, and then be able to put it on and wear it. Wearing it though is another challenge for me since Asa and Lexi are still so small. They want to pull on it and yank on it. They don't understand (nor do I expect them to) what the necklace is. Asa knows that he has a baby brother and that his baby brother lived in mommy's tummy and now is an angel and lives in heaven, but flies around us and protects us all day, even when we are asleep. He knows that he his lucky to have his very own angel. Lexi's just to young, but one day she too will know how lucky she is. Although I never expected my kids to have their very own angel like this, I am so very thankful that they do. Here is a picture of Johnny's urn. It represents the 5 of us. Daddy, Mommy, Asa and Lexi who can be seen and Baby Johnny on the inside, who although can't be seen is always with us.